If you're attempting to rescue your marriage from divorce, it may feel even more hopeless if you are the only one trying. I have experienced the hurt, fear and even anger that can usually go along with being in an unhappy marriage but still wanting desperately to save it. I'd like to provide some advice on how to save marriages that are facing divorce, based on my personal experience as well as the experience of couples who have shared similar stories.
The primary thing that I found out was that negative emotions, while natural and common, can truly hurt your chance to save your marriage. It is very predictable to feel any combination of anger, hurt, fear, shock, jealousy, depression etc. But these emotions cause us to make very disapproving mistakes.
When you do things like crying and begging and pleading with your mate, or consistent phone calls or emails, or argue angrily you are making yourself even less desirable and reinforcing their decision to leave you. Instead, you have to put yourself in a more positive state that enables you to stay rational and calm.
In addition you ought to not participate in the "blame game." It truly makes no difference right now who did what or who said what.
If saving your marriage is your goal, then stop worrying about the circumstances that might have led you to this point and dedicate yourself 100% to saving your marriage. This is even more important if you're the only one making an effort right now. The idea that marriage is a 50/50 proposition may have to be squashed.
And finally, Newton's Third Law states that "with every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." There are certain actions you may take that will be far superior and much more efficient than what you have most likely been doing.
If your very best thinking has got you to this point, then consider that maybe there is a better way! By doing specific things and saying specific things, you will change the dynamics of the relationship with your partner.
One final note. Do not be discouraged if you've already tried marriage counseling and weren't victorious. Traditional marriage counseling only has almost a 20% success rate at saving marriages. A lot of marriages were truly damaged even further with the help of these so called "experts".
There are some efficient things you can do to stop your marriage from falling apart. Once it comes to Saving A Marriage the methods you will see on the following page can provide you with the advice and info you require to assist the situation you're going through Click Here.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
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